Keepn' it real

Since getting married, my boundries for joke-telling have certainly stretched. Especially with friends that are also recently married. Take, for instance, the following examples. (Forewarning, some examples may contain TMI.)

Example one: While on our honeymoon, Prince Charming and I were casually meandering up and down the festive wintery streets, window shopping. There were plenty of cute trinkets, delicate knick-nacks, appetizing candy and whatnot. And then we stopped in front of the store. The store with amusing, clever, suggestive, entertaining shirts, cups, playing cards and anything else you could decorate with sarcastic blather. Up in the corner of the window, my beloved Prince Charming pointed out a onsie. A onsie that was clever, amusing and suggestive. A onsie I would have never thought of purchasing and giving to another mother-to-be. A onsie I now insisted that we go in and purchase immediately for his best man and his wife who are recently married within the last year and already expecting a baby in April. A onsie we did purchase and that I took great enjoyment in sending to the couple. A onsie that read: "Surrender the Boobie" With a pirate smiley face directly beneath the printing. And even now, I get a good giggle out of the saying and only wish I could have been present when they opened the gift, to see the looks on their faces. I'm sure they were overjoyed.

Example two: The second example has to do with my twisted husband. One of his groomsman got married two weeks after we did and when they came back from their honeymoon, they moved to our city and said they would be here on Sunday. We agreed to meet them at their new place and help move them in. Sunday came and after church, Prince Charming and I went back to bed. (We'll just leave it at that.) Later, we were lying in bed when his phone starts ringing. We weren't going to answer it, but it was said groomsman and he was calling to let us know their progress and when to meet them. So, I answered it. A couple sentances into the conversation, my Prince Charming spouts, "Hey! You are interrupting some hot sticky magic!" Mortified, I couldn't say anything else and just tossed the phone to him, while make sure I slugged him good in is stomach. I barely had time to recover and hope that maybe the indelicate comment hadn't been heard by the groomsman, when Prince Charming answers "No, we just finished. We're in the cuddling stage now." Ahhh....how romantic. And, I admit, how very funny. Mom? I'm sorry I've become so un-ladylike. I know you taught me better. But I couldn't help but laugh. And now it is an inside joke between our friends and us. Again, I'm sorry.

There are other examples, but in the hopes that you haven't already run away screaming, then hopped into a hot shower to try to feel clean again and arranged to have your computer ceremonially burned by illiterate eunichs, I'm going to stop now and leave you with a happy, warm and fuzzy picture. Do you forgive me now?